{"id":3973,"date":"2019-07-08T05:00:57","date_gmt":"2019-07-08T10:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/doxaweb.blog\/?p=3973"},"modified":"2019-07-08T05:00:57","modified_gmt":"2019-07-08T10:00:57","slug":"on-the-possibilities-of-human-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/doxaweb.com\/blog\/2019\/07\/08\/on-the-possibilities-of-human-love\/","title":{"rendered":"marriage and the possibilities of human love"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This week, while sitting in a bakery, I picked up the June 30 edition of the Minneapolis StarTribune and read this sobering headline:<br \/>\n<strong><em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.startribune.com\/church-weddings-now-are-a-minority-as-minnesota-couples-choose-convenience-over-tradition\/511465582\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Weddings a less religious affair: Church weddings are now a minority, as Minnesota couples choose convenience over tradition<\/a><\/em><\/strong><br \/>\nThe cultural shift described by the article is very dramatic:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Religious institutions hosted only 22% of weddings in 2017, according to a survey by the Knot, a leading wedding news website. That\u2019s a swift decline from the 41% in 2009.<\/p>\n<p class=\"Text_Body\">Barns, ranches and banquet halls are among the top beneficiaries of the shift.<\/p>\n<p class=\"Text_Body\">Catholic churches have been particularly hard hit. The number of weddings nationwide plunged from 326,000 in 1990 to 143,000 in 2018 \u2014 despite an increase in the Catholic population. In Minnesota, there are half as many Catholic church weddings today, with 3,100 last year, as in 1990.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><strong><em>In just ten years<\/em><\/strong>, the number of marriages performed by religious institutions has dropped by 50%.<br \/>\nAnd then this story of how it is playing out:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p class=\"Text_Body\">Even some couples whose first choice is a church ceremony often change their minds because of requirements. Raised Catholic, Emily and Joe Beckers expected to be married in a Catholic church. But the Maplewood couple was put off by the marriage preparation classes, which seemed too \u201cfaith based,\u201d and the required weekend retreat with other couples. They also wanted a personalized wedding ceremony and worried that couldn\u2019t happen.<\/p>\n<p class=\"Text_Body\">There was even a bigger hurdle. Joe Beckers was divorced, and for the marriage to be recognized in the church, he would need to get an annulment of his first marriage.<\/p>\n<p class=\"Text_Body\">The wedding plans shifted gears, and they ended up at Embassy Suites in St. Paul.<\/p>\n<p class=\"Text_Body\">Said Emily Beckers: \u201cWe were able to tailor every detail to our relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>God, the sacraments, and the church are fading in the minds of young couples. No longer are these things considered important to the success or vitality of their relationship. What matters more is the ability to make the ceremony a triumph of self-expression. Is it any wonder that marriages fail so often? They are little more than houses built on sand.<br \/>\nPope Saint John Paul II was prophetic in his sense about the direction that marriage was headed with young people. He describes the dynamic delicately and profoundly in his play about the sacrament of marriage. One of the characters in the drama is an old jeweler, a man who prepares the rings for young couples. He represents the priest, the witness of the sacrament and the one who, in the person of Christ, offers the blessing on behalf of the Church.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>CHRISTOPHER<\/strong><br \/>\n<span style=\"color:var(--color-text);\">When we took the rings I felt your hand trembling&#8230;.<br \/>\n<\/span>We forgot to pay attention to the face of that old man,<br \/>\nwhom Mother told me about: his eyes are said to be very expressive.<br \/>\nIt is not our fault that we read nothing<br \/>\nin his eyes; and he said little &#8212; things we knew anyway.<br \/>\nSo do not be surprised, Mother, that his words left no trace<br \/>\n(things we knew anyway &#8212; we did not sense greatness),<br \/>\nand Monica&#8217;s trembling hands told me much more.<br \/>\nI was engrossed in her being moved, and in my own<br \/>\nexperience of her being moved, which I shared fully<br \/>\n&#8212; and I saw us two deep down in our experience:<br \/>\nI think I love her very much.<br \/>\n<strong>MONICA<\/strong><br \/>\nWe were taken up with each other &#8212; how could we tear ourselves away&#8230;<br \/>\nHe did nothing to fascinate us&#8230;<br \/>\nhe simply measured, first, the circumference of our fingers, then of the rings,<br \/>\nas an ordinary craftsman would. There was no artistry in it even.<br \/>\nHe did not bring us closer to anything. All the beauty remained<br \/>\nin our own feeling. He did not widen or narrow anything<br \/>\n&#8230;I was absorbed by my love &#8212; and by nothing else, it seems.<br \/>\n<strong>TERESA<\/strong><br \/>\nThis frightened me, however&#8230; Does the old jeweler not act anymore with the force of his eyes and his word? Or is it that those two are unable to feel that force, hidden in his look and his speech. Is it that they are different?&#8230;<br \/>\nWhat are you building, children? What cohesion<br \/>\nare these feelings of yours going to have beyond the old jeweler&#8217;s message<br \/>\nof which the vertical axis cuts across<br \/>\nevery marriage in this world?<br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/The-Jewelers-Shop-Karol-Wojtyla\/dp\/089870426X\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>The Jeweler&#8217;s Shop<\/em> by Karol Wojtyla<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Clearly the Church has its work cut out for it if it hopes to be given the opportunity to assist young couples in preparing well for marriage in any kind of meaningful way&#8230; leading them beyond the fantasy and the sentimentality, toward the bedrock of a love that pours itself out selflessly on behalf of the beloved.<br \/>\nFor more about the play The Jeweler&#8217;s Shop, <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/doxaweb.blog\/2019\/07\/06\/the-jewelers-shop\/\">click here<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This week, while sitting in a bakery, I picked up the June 30 edition of the Minneapolis StarTribune and read this sobering headline: Weddings a less religious affair: Church weddings are now a minority, as Minnesota couples choose convenience over tradition The cultural shift described by the article is very dramatic: Religious institutions hosted only [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3451,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,22,27,66,33,40,44,50],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3973","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-communication","category-family","category-human-sexuality","category-marriage","category-moral-life","category-poetry","category-pope-john-paul-ii","category-sacraments"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>marriage and the possibilities of human love &#8211; 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